Eat with Someone

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“Bum.” To be honest, that is what I thought when I first saw him. Nothing new here. His long beard was matted and dirty. His clothes were worn. He smelled like a hamster cage. It was clear he had been living on the street. He might be dangerous, or crazy.

It wasn’t until later that I learned his name, Cecil, and that he had once been a surgeon at the famous Bellevue Hospital in New York City. But Cecil was an alcoholic, and he had been dragged down to another kind of life.

A friend of mine at the mission shared a quote that went something like this —

“Once you categorize people, you cease to love them.”

Past experience can make me think I know who someone is, but I may be wrong. After we had tea and bread together, I learned that Cecil had had a turn-around through Christ in his own life. Despite my category, he was a recovering alcoholic helping many others in our neighborhood.

Jesus broke some categories too, and when he talked about serving the unserved, he often talked about eating. “When you host a banquet, invite those who are poor, maimed, lame, or blind,” he said to a shocked and probably embarrassed host. It’s one thing to “help” someone, but to eat with them, well, that is another matter. Notice how angry some people got with Jesus, because he “ate with sinners.”

Here is something we are telling ourselves in New York City concerning addressing poverty—

Don’t just give food to people, eat with them.

Because food is a need in our neighborhood, one of our programs gives out over 10,000 meals a year. Hundreds of people stand in line for a sandwich and some fruit. But I am learning something, now that we have a lot of workers. Instead of handing out sandwiches or directing traffic, I sometimes simply stand in line with the others, receive a sandwich, and eat with the others there on the street. That way, I have a very different kind of conversation with people. We are eating a sandwich together, and in some small way, we are in the same boat.

As a natural “doer,” I have to remind myself that serving the unserved starts with listening. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German Christian who was executed by the Nazis, once said, “We should listen with the ears of God that we may speak the Word of God.”

So how do we get started in addressing poverty in our community, or in our sphere of influence? Here is a simple way to start—invite a person to eat with you—a person you wouldn’t normally invite. That’s all. It’s a good rule for a man to invite a man, and a woman to invite a woman. Instead of giving someone a meal, get two meals and eat together.

Cecil taught me that. Eating together and listening tends to change our categories.

Be Still!

Photo courtesy of Sharon Fox of Lincolnton, NC

Photo courtesy of Sharon Fox of Lincolnton, NC

Last Christmas, my husband presented me with an unusual gift.  It was a square throw-pillow with the words “Be Still” printed on it.  I love it.  It sits quietly on my couch now, reminding me not to let the random hurry and scurry of daily life keep me distracted.

God says the same thing through the Psalmist in Psalm 46:10. 

“Be still; I will be exalted; the nations and the earth will know me.” (paraphrase mine) 

Essentially, God is telling us that He will be known “without,” or “in spite of” our well-meaning actions.  In fact, perhaps our frantic hurried-ness to “do the right thing” takes away from God’s glorious reputation in the world of human beings.

Part of the “being still” is having a Sabbath time each week.  “Time to be created instead of creator,” says Abraham Joshua Heschel.  God took a Sabbath after creating the world (Genesis 2:2-3).  Think about verse 3 and how you can stamp value on all you have done in the previous 6 days.  Think about how to make those things holy.

Stop to Start

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If there isn’t a God, we better fret and worry and expend all our energy figuring out what to do. But if there is a God, perhaps the most important thing we can do is to stop and listen.

In the “Upside Down Training” we do at Graffiti, we sometimes share this important community service principle:

Don’t just do something–stand there.

In times of stress, developing the habit of stopping and being attentive may actually be the most practical, and, well, active thing we can do.

In Isaiah, God makes a remarkable promise. “And when you turn, whether to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it'” (Isaiah 30:21). We are flooded with potential information to our cell phones, televisions, radios, and we have to make some choices.

In the same way, perhaps it isn’t that God hasn’t sent out a signal. Maybe we just haven’t stopped to tune in properly.