Being Both the Welcomer and the Welcomed
Why did Jesus ask the Samaritan woman for water? Why did Jesus invite himself to eat at the house of Zachaeus? He's the Son of God, for goodness sake—the ultimate giver.
Perhaps in most of us, deep down, there is that desire to be a giver also, even when we need to be given to. It is wonderful to help someone, but even helping someone can be a kind of separation, the "donor" providing for a "client."
Christians in compassion ministry know this issue well.
Often it is much easier to assume the role of rescuer rather than to accept the role of being rescued.
Even small adjustments can help. Instead of giving food to people, we can sit down and eat with them, and give them a chance to contribute also.
How can we restructure what we do to make this sharing more possible naturally? My co-worker uses the phrase "being both the welcomer as well as the welcomed." What can we adjust to make this sort of relationship more likely?
We still have a long way to go. Many years ago, our center helped a very poor older woman clean out her apartment. She was about to get evicted because of the smelly trash inside. She had very few resources herself and wasn't completely kind to us as she felt we were disposing of some of her "treasures." In fact, she was downright cranky. But surprisingly, at the end of the day, she took one of the young college students aside and actually gave him a fifty-dollar bill.
"What do I do with this?" the college student asked. "I can't accept it. I came to do something for her, not take something from her."
"Whatever you do, don't you dare give it back," I said. "The flow of the Spirit is a two-way street, not a one-way alley."
Our world is full of migrations. Recently a co-worker in the Northeast visited some asylum-seekers, a family who really didn't know how to get any resources in their new situation. Yet this family was the host as my co-worker visited them. All the family had to offer her was water, and a marshmallow—that is all they had in their empty apartment. Yet they had something, and they were allowed to be the host.
My co-worker helped them make a connection with a local church, a church that welcomed them and helped them get more food. The church also engaged with them, and appreciated what the family had to offer. But it all started with receiving water, and a marshmallow...